Eight Uncomfortable Truths About Why Some People Are Instantly Likeable — And How Business Leaders Can Learn From Them

Some people walk into a room and instantly capture attention. They don't have to speak loudly. They don’t dominate conversations. Yet somehow, they’re magnetic. People lean in. They want to listen. They want to connect.

As someone who’s spent decades in high-stakes boardrooms, intense negotiations, and intimate coffee catch-ups with clients, I used to think charm was something you were either born with or without. That myth dies quickly in business, where relationships matter far more than résumés.

Through observation, research, and relentless self-improvement, I discovered that genuine likability isn’t about being agreeable or polished. In fact, it’s often the opposite. Here are eight behaviours that seem counterintuitive but make someone instantly likeable—and how you can incorporate them into your professional life without compromising your authenticity.

1. They Make Others Feel Slightly Off-Balance — And That’s a Good Thing

We’re wired to seek comfort and predictability in others. Yet, oddly enough, those who are deeply likeable often keep people on their toes. Not in a manipulative way, but in a way that interrupts social autopilot.

Consider a client meeting. Most professionals enter with an agenda and a well-rehearsed pitch. But the most memorable ones? They throw in something unexpected—a wry joke, a surprising insight, or even a long pause before responding. This subtle disruption forces attention. It creates curiosity.

In neuroscience, this is called a “pattern interrupt.” Our brains perk up when something doesn’t follow the expected script. The likeable person leverages this by being present, unpredictable, and slightly disarming. It makes people want to engage further. In a world of rehearsed niceties, being real—even in your pauses—is magnetic.

Practice Point for Professionals:

Next time you're in conversation, delay your response for just a beat longer than usual. See how it changes the dynamic. Or share something unconventional. Invite curiosity rather than forcing attention.

2. They’re Comfortable Being Disliked—And That Confidence Is Contagious

The business world often rewards diplomacy. But paradoxically, those who are most likeable aren’t afraid to disagree, even when it makes the room tense.

This doesn’t mean being combative. It means being honest.

Recently, I watched a colleague at a networking dinner state an unpopular view about artificial intelligence in front of a room full of technologists. Instead of backpedalling, he stood his ground—with grace. The result? People respected him more, not less. Why?

Because authenticity inspires trust. If you're willing to be disliked, you signal that you're not seeking approval—you’re seeking truth. This disarms others. It gives them permission to be themselves. And in today’s hyper-curated world, that’s incredibly attractive.

Practice Point for Professionals:

State your opinion clearly, even if it diverges from the majority. Do it without aggression, but without apology. Stand firm, and you’ll be surprised how often disagreement earns respect.

3. They’re Not Afraid of Silence

Most professionals view silence as a gap to be filled. But truly likeable individuals treat silence as a canvas.

They allow moments to breathe. They don’t rush to fill every space with small talk or business jargon. This makes interactions feel more genuine—and more memorable.

In fact, strategic silence can be a powerful negotiation tool. It suggests confidence. It invites reflection. And it shows you’re comfortable enough with yourself not to seek constant validation.

In leadership, stillness is a mark of authority. In relationships, it’s a mark of trust.

Practice Point for Professionals:

Next time there’s a lull in a conversation, resist the urge to fill it. Let it linger. You’ll find that others often reveal more when given the space to do so.

4. They Let You Catch Them Being Imperfect

We’ve all met people who try too hard. They over-polish. Over-perform. They hide their flaws behind buzzwords and curated confidence.

The truly likeable don’t do this. They allow their humanity to show.

They might fumble a sentence. Drop their coffee. Forget a client’s name and laugh at themselves. Not out of carelessness, but because they know perfection is a myth—and a boring one at that.

Imperfection creates connection. It reminds others that they, too, are allowed to stumble. And in the workplace, where imposter syndrome runs rampant, that’s a relief.

Practice Point for Professionals:

Share a mistake you made this week with your team or a client. Don’t over-explain or try to make it sound noble. Just be human. Vulnerability builds bridges.

5. They Set Boundaries—Without Apology

Ever had a colleague who never says no? They show up to every meeting, reply to every email instantly, and never seem to take a break.

These people are often seen as dependable—but rarely magnetic.

Why? Because likability isn’t about being always available. It’s about having clarity. And the most likeable people have no problem setting boundaries.

They decline meetings that aren’t valuable. They switch off on weekends. They don’t apologise for needing space.

This kind of self-respect is attractive. It communicates: “I value myself, and you should too.”

Practice Point for Professionals:

Practice saying “no” this week—cleanly and confidently. The first few times will feel uncomfortable. But over time, you’ll notice people begin to respect you more.

6. They Don’t Fake Energy

We’ve all been conditioned to smile through fatigue. To present enthusiasm on demand. To show up with the energy people expect.

But those who are truly likeable don’t fake it. They match their energy to their reality.

If they’re tired, they say so. If they’re not up for socialising, they decline. If they’re energised, they let it show.

This honesty is refreshing. It takes courage to show up as you are, not as you think you should be. But that authenticity is what makes you relatable—and trustable.

Practice Point for Professionals:

Check in with yourself before each interaction. Ask: “Am I pretending right now?” If the answer is yes, consider adjusting your energy or expressing it honestly.

7. They’re Willing to Learn—Even in Front of Others

In a culture obsessed with expertise, it’s rare to see someone say, “I don’t know.”

But that’s exactly what makes the likeable stand out.

They ask questions. Basic ones. “What does that acronym mean?” “Can you explain that again?” They’re not afraid to look naïve, because their curiosity is real.

This makes others feel seen. Valued. Like their knowledge matters.

It’s not just humility—it’s generosity. And it’s one of the fastest ways to build rapport in any professional relationship.

Practice Point for Professionals:

Next time you don’t understand something—admit it. Ask the question. Let others teach you. Watch how quickly the walls come down.

8. They Break the Small Social Rules

Likeable people have a streak of rebellion. Not grand gestures—but micro-rebellions.

They might crack a joke when the room expects silence. Take their shoes off in a meeting. Start eating before everyone else. These tiny breaches signal freedom.

They show others that rules can be flexible—that you don’t have to perform. In turn, this creates a more relaxed environment, one where authenticity thrives.

In the business world, where etiquette often trumps emotion, this rule-breaking is more than charisma. It’s leadership.

Practice Point for Professionals:

Experiment with gently bending a social rule. Speak your mind when it’s inconvenient. Be a little playful in a formal setting. You’ll notice how many people follow your lead.

Final Thoughts: Likability Is a Skill, Not a Gift

Let’s debunk the myth once and for all: being likeable isn’t about being the loudest voice, the smartest thinker, or the most polished operator. It’s about being grounded enough to be yourself.

That sounds simple, but in a world that rewards performance, it’s radical.

Each of the behaviours above is a kind of risk. A stepping away from safety. But in that risk lies something powerful: connection. Influence. Respect.

And those are the currencies that truly matter—in business and in life.

Start small. Pick one of these truths. Practise it this week. Observe the results. The people who matter most will lean in. And you’ll begin to experience what true rapport feels like.

In the end, likability isn’t about trying to be liked.

It’s about giving people permission to be real—by being real first.